My 30 day challenge for September went really well - I managed to fit my yoga and meditation in on 28 of the 30 days - and for many of the days I did it longer than I had committed to.
Even better - I have kept it up so far even though it is now October.
But that doesn't mean that I haven't set a new challenge for the new month! While I admit that October did kind of creep up on me and I didn't have a challenge until the 2nd (which I figure is ok cos there are 31 days in October!), I have managed to come up with a doozy!
Inspiration actually hit me at the hairdressers (it takes over two hours for me to keep my roots in check so I had a lot of time to think). One of my guilty pleasures at the hairdressers is to read those really trashy magazines. I used to buy them myself but found they were so full of negativity and hatefulness that I just didn't need in my life so I stopped. But at the hairdresser, I let myself flip through them and look at all the pretty people (and try to ignore all the stuff about who has put on too much weight, who has lost too much weight, who looks ugly without makeup, who is losing their boyfriend/ husband/ dignity). This week, pretty much every single magazine had Miley Cyrus on the front.
There is a lot going on with the whole Miley thing, and I am not going to go into it here. I didn't read the articles but there were a bunch of photos of her (stills from her latest video and her VMA performance), her now ex-fiance Liam and his new girlfriend (I think) so I am guessing it was something to do with the breakdown of her relationship. I looked at the photos for a bit before flicking on to the next pages where all the red carpet fashion shots were (my favourite part of the trash mags). The woman next to me though, who was reading the same mags, clearly found the story about Miley far more upsetting (although I doubt she read the article either - I mean, does anyone?).
"Oh gawd! Just *look* at her, would you!" she exclaimed, "No wonder Liam left her! Would you want your girlfriend dressing like that? She looks like a total skank!"
This kind of a reaction is not unusual. I have probably thought - maybe even said - things like this about celebrities before myself. But hearing it like that, it just suddenly struck me how awful and useless this kind of gossip was. Seeing a photo or two, making a snap decision and assumptions about someone you don't really know and casting dispersions about who they are (and it is seldom something nice like, "Oh, I bet she is really nice to her granny!" or "She has great teeth - she must floss a lot!") - all it serves is to put negativity out into the world. And to what end? To show your concern? Doubtful. To feel superior to the person you are gossiping about and make you feel better about yourself? Far more likely.
Whether you are saying it about a celebrity or someone you know, when you engage in nasty gossip, not only are you being unnecessarily mean, it actually exposes parts of yourself that you are probably trying to hide. Why do you feel the need to point out how much weight someone has put on? Why do you like to tell people about someone's relationship failures? Why are you so interested in this piece of gossip that you feel the need to vocalise it and spread it to others? Maybe you don't want to think about those things. Because it is a LOT easier to just point and judge others than to look inside to see what might be really upsetting you.
Ok - that sounds really preachy, doesn't it? So let's get something straight. I gossip. I don't even know how much but probably a lot. I get caught up in it at work, with friends, with family, at yoga - everywhere that people meet up and chat, there is gossip and I am just as susceptible to it as anyone else. And, given I used to pride myself on being a totally caustic bitch, I can be pretty cutting if I really get caught up in it. It is not pretty at all.
But, for the month of October, I am not going to gossip.
Given that I am often not actually aware that I am gossiping until it is too late, this is going to be one tough-arse challenge! I am not even sure exactly where the line is just between observation or a meaningful discussion and actual, proper gossip. I just kind of feel like it is something I get involved in too often and it is something where, when I witness it or catch myself in the middle of it, I really don't like what I hear.
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| Source: www.radicalimprov.net |
I don't expect I will be able to meet this challenge 100 per cent. I think I will probably slip into the habit quite a bit in fact. But when I do, I am going to try to catch myself, stop, and then think about what it is that has made me say the things I am saying. What does this gossip say about me, my fears and my challenges? Does the person I am gossiping about represent something I dislike in myself? Someone I wish I could be more like but that I am too scared to be?
I am hoping that, by being more aware of the things I say over the next month, this will lead to me gossiping less and generally being a nicer person. Which sounds good, right? And again, will let you know on FaceBook how I am progressing.
Wish me luck!!!
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